217 vs. 218

Last night, we went to TopGolf – for those of you that aren’t familiar with TopGolf – imagine a trendy bowling alley environment crossed with a golf driving range. It is a lot of fun. On our way my wife and I had a great conversation with our youngest son about his future. Without getting into too many details, the main point of the conversation was that saying you wanted to accomplish something was not enough. You have to put in the work. And if you are truly passionate about something, most of the time you will enjoy the work as well as the reward. But without the work, there is no reward.

As anything involving sports often does, our time hitting golf balls turned into a friendly competition. My son has an impressive swing for a recently self taught newbie. I am terrible. I have tried several times throughout my life to get better at golf and I have come to accept that its just not my game. But I still enjoy it and occasionally I will hit a shot that makes me think maybe I got it. Typically, the next few shots are reminders that I clearly do not. Last night I hit a shot that might have been my best shot ever. It hit the back net and the computer read 218 yards. Before you professional golfers judge me, I am pretty sure the balls are designed to limit the distance and clearly have a chip in them so that the computers can score your shots. Anyway, it was a beauty. My son cheered me on but I could see the fire in his eyes. He had to beat it.

His next shot was one of the best golf shots I have ever witnessed in person. As we all stared at the computer waiting for the score to register, I thought I was toast. I thought for sure that drive was well over 220. My only hope was that hitting the net would max him out at 218. The the computer screen displayed 217. The fire and determination in his eyes was almost frightening. For the rest of the night, ball after ball, swing after swing – he would await confidently and the computer would say 217. He must of hit 217 15-20 times after my 218. And I never again broke 200.

Because I am a good father, I reminded him a few times throughout the night that I hit the ball further than he did. 217 vs 218. He may never live this one down. In fact, I may have to retire from golf as to not ruin my legacy. With all of the friendly ribbing that I gave him, I thought I recognized the teachable moment. As he was complaining about not being able to find the one spot in the net that is a foot further back than the rest, I interrupted him. And I told him that he is so focused on comparison and winning someone else’s game – that he is completely ignoring the 20 perfect shots that he hit. Comparison is ruining his entire experience, causing him to miss the good that he did because he is measuring it by the wrong standard. I tried to relate it back to our earlier conversation and told him that he had to find HIS passion and put in HIS work, for what God has called HIM to do. Not worrying about what this world is telling him is possible, or what this world is telling him he should do.

I thought I was dropping some wonderful father knowledge on the boy.

Then, this morning, I opened my bible and the first two verses that God gave me were James 2:17 and 2:18.

Yep. 217 vs 218.

“In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action is dead.” James 2:17

When I read this, I felt confirmation that my messaging to my son on the way to our adventure was solid. This is the point I was trying to make to him. And maybe him hitting 217 over and over was God’s way of confirming and encouraging. I felt my own father superpowers in full force. And then I read James 2:18:

“But someone will say, ‘you have faith; I have deeds.’ Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.”

And right then I realized that my Heavenly Father was flexing his superpowers to teach me a lesson just the same. I have a tendency to be a task master. I have to get the to-do list done, because its the to-do list and that is what I am supposed to do. And this extends to all areas of my life. Because of this, sometimes I focus on the deeds, and not the faith behind the deeds. And while I was so adamant about my son matching his want with some work. And while I thought it was my manliness and prowess that contributed to me hitting 218, I think it is more likely that my Father used it to remind me to match my work with the want. I need to remember that I am not just here to check of tasks from the to do list. I am here to bring glory to God in every task I do. I forget this frequently.

While each of us has a lesson to learn, neither is more important than the other. Both must be learned and put in to action. We must have faith AND we must take action.

A Father’s Love

Kids say the darnedest things. When they are young and brutally honest, we make light of the moments where they point out an obvious observance that make the adults all weird and uncomfortable. But as they get older, their words can carry more weight and power. By the time they are young adults, they can yield their words like a sharp sword causing pain and destruction with every wild swing. Do they intend to wreak havoc? Certainly not. But chances are, they have not considered the impact outside of their self-centered point of view. They will say words to you that you did not think they were capable of uttering. And your heart will break.

When raising them, there are some clear objectives; Love them. Nourish them. Keep them safe. Teach them right from wrong. And you will see success many times throughout their lives. You will witness signs of them becoming wonderful young men and women, and you will feel love and accomplishment many times over. However, no matter how good you did raising stellar children, they will stray from the lessons you have taught. They will inevitably step off path and make mistakes. They will forget the lessons you have taught them, or perhaps just blatantly ignore them. Though the severity will vary, they will falter. And your heart will break.

As a father, I have been crushed by my children’s words. But I have been encouraged by their hearts. I have been devastated to witness some of their decisions. But I have been proud of their accomplishments. Through every peak and valley, I have loved them the same. I have had an unconscious forgiveness of every hurtful word or misdeed. Regardless of the situation, I am here as a shoulder to cry on, a hand to dust them off, encouragement to lift them up, and advice to help them recover. As frustrated and discouraged as I might be, I know the wholesome and good that is inside of them. And while sometimes loving them does not always feel good to them, I am always faithful.

As I grow in my faith, I cannot help but imagine this is similar to how my Heavenly Father has felt and dealt with me throughout my life of poor choices and painful words. Every time I have taken Him for granted or walked disobediently through this world. Yet, He is there. Allowing me to reap what I sow, but always comforting the blow with his unwavering and faithful love. Don’t get me wrong, I am not comparing my flawed existence to God’s perfection. I am only suggesting that while I regularly fall short of His example, I can relate to love He feels and pain I have caused Him.

I am far from a perfect father. But I have the perfect role model. I hope that one day my children understand the love I have for them by loving children of their own. And I hope that they experience the love of our Heavenly Father the way I do.

I know this post is a little dark, in fact it is a lot darker than a post about my kids should be. But this is just where I am today after a pretty rough situation and self reflection yesterday. My children are wonderful humans. And I know I have a ton to be grateful for – in fact – I am grateful for all of the good and uplifting things they say and do. But the point of focusing on the dark is to point out the hope in the things that don’t always seem hopeful. Because I am also grateful for light that shines in the dark.

Overwhelmed

Sometimes I get overwhelmed. Not just stressed. But completely paralyzed by the weight of everything that depends on me or my action. I feel like the worlds worst bottleneck. Countless decisions or tasks that require my immediate attention. Every direction I turn, there is another task to do or another decision to make. Occasionally, this leads me to rebel and just refuse to decide or do anything, thus compounding the problem. Leaving me feeling weak and powerless.

This has been an issue for me for as long as I can remember. Even some of my earliest memories, I can remember feeling so overwhelmed with school assignments that I would just refuse to get out of bed some mornings. Eventually, I realized that allowing paralyzing anxiety to stop me from doing anything only compounded the problem. I found that I needed to compartmentalize and prioritize. I started doing just one thing at a time and tried not to allow the totality of everything in front of me to swallow me whole. This works well to accomplish the tasks and make the decisions that I have to do and make on most days. But it does not speak to the emotion and mental expense of overwhelming anxiety and stress.

Most of the time I could hide the emotional side of my issue. Those closest to me might not even notice. Sometimes they would just think I was in a bad mood or cranky. But inside the darkness and pressure was crushing my spirit and making me feel helpless and hopeless. I never wanted to admit this issue because I viewed it as my weakness, or my brokenness. It wasn’t until the last couple of years that I started to find some relief. Once I allowed Jesus into my life, I found a filter through which all decisions and tasks could be processed. Developing my relationship with God gave me a way to prioritize the issues that were tugging at me from every direction. Now I require that any major decision that I make or task that I do goes through some Biblical vetting.

First I decide if the task or result of the decision can bring glory to God or help build His Kingdom. If the answer is no, it falls down the list or off the list. If the answer is yes, then I evaluate the impact.

  • If the impact of the task or decision is kind, compassionate, humble, honest, encouraging, or loving – I will either do it right then or schedule it.
  • If it is self-serving or brings others pain or concern – I drop it from the to-do list.
  • If it is unclear which category this may fall in, I postpone it until I can decide which group it falls into.

This works really well for me, most of the time. Probably because it removes the pressure of being the bottleneck from me, and instead I rely on God for strength- which increases my ability exponentially (Isaiah 40:29). When this plan fails me it is usually because I am struggling with my relationship with God. Either I have slacked off on my quiet time and prayer time, or I have acted disobediently. But instead of allowing my anxiety and stress to paralyze me, I know that all I need to do is pull closer to Him and refocus on that relationship, and I will get back on track (2 Thessalonians 3:3). Sometimes recovery takes hours and sometimes its days, but pulling closer to Him has never failed me.

I am not going to claim that my methodology is flawless and can fix everyone’s problems. But it works for me, and today – I was compelled to share it. However, if you are struggling and you cannot find relief it is important for you to understand that you are not alone. Please, talk to someone. There are several ways to reach me, if you need someone to talk to, please reach out.

Love: Just Do It

Love. What a four letter word! We have given many meetings to the word.
It can be an intense feeling of deep affection. “My beautiful bride fills me with feelings of love”
It can be a deep romantic attachment to someone. “I am in love with her”
It can be an affectionate greeting or a way to end a phone call. “I love you, buh bye”
It can be used, and often overused, to show great interest or pleasure in something. “I love baseball, America, and apple pie”
It can be used to describe a person. “She is the love of my life”
It is even a measurement of zero – in tennis (and some other sports). I am not sure why and have always found this a little strange.

But, I believe the most important and valuable use of the word is when it is a verb. When we don’t just use the word to describe, but actually put it in motion. It is one of the few human activities where the action is done by one person toward another person and both people feel the same fulfillment. I believe this feeling is a direct result of the Spirit in us. Living out The Greatest Commandment (Matthew 22:37-39) ignites a fire inside of us that warms the soul and in that moment, nothing else matters. When we love others, we are following God’s command, which is a form of worship and praise. And this feeling of fulfillment is one of the benefits of praising the Lord our God (Psalms 103:2).

One of the best ways to love, is to do good and share with others (Hebrews 13:16). A simple selfless act, for the sole benefit of someone else. Or an encouraging word to a stranger. Or a sign of appreciation for someone that may be going unnoticed. Or a warm hug when someone is hurting. Or an open ear for a troubled friend. The options are endless. But they always require a selfless act and another person.

Imagine a world where each of us did this daily. If we were intentional about putting love in action in our daily lives and interactions with others, there would be far less conflict, violence, hurt and evil in this world. Many of you are thinking, “this would be easy to do if everyone else did it.” Each of us has to pull our weight for all of us to do anything (Galatians 6:5). It has to start somewhere. Control what you can. Control your actions and response. Let love start with you today. And stay with it. Much like planting a seed in the soil, you will not see a plant sprout from the ground right away. But if you stay diligent with providing the right amount of water, consistently, you will start to see it grow.

If you are already there. If you are already spreading your love for God and others, then I challenge you to dig deeper. Love deeper (1 Peter 4:8). Forgive that person that you never thought you could. Help the person that caused you pain or broke your heart. Expand your reach, leave your comfort zone, stretch your love. There is always more need for love, and against popular opinion – the source of love within you never runs dry. There is an infinite amount, in fact, the more you use the more He provides. Do not hoard it. It is given to you for you to give to others. Just do it.

The Great Qualifier

I am probably one of the least qualified people to write a Christian blog. I am not seminary trained. I do not have a degree from a fancy college. I haven’t lived a life serving the Church. I am not even a seasoned writer. I am grammatically challenged and without spell check, I am pretty sure nothing that I write would make any sense whatsoever. But before you think you are wasting your time here and stop reading this, understand that none of this disqualifies me from relying on and relaying the Word of God. The Bible is full of unlikely people used by God for greater things; Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, Elisha, all of the disciples, especially Paul – you know, the guy formally known as Saul – the Christian hunter. Yet God, indeed, used them. And not just despite their weakness, but probably because of it.

God will make the strong become weak when they depend on their own abilities and are not faithful to Him (1 Corinthians 1:27). In the same respect He will use our weaknesses as an opportunity to prove His power when we surrender to His will and trust in Him (Psalms 55:22). We are called to greater things. His plan for us is a great promise. To achieve all that He has planned for us we must adhere to a very simple but very hard life of turning away from the sin and temptation that surrounds us. We have to rise above the worldly desires of consumerism, of being the one that finishes with the most, of doing whatever it takes to get whatever we want. We have to be better than the world around us (Romans 12:2). We have to avoid our evil desires by knowing that the righteous pursuit of faith, love, and peace with a pure heart is what enables our calling from God to be fulfilled through us (2 Timothy 2:22).

Like I said, it is simple but it is not easy. In fact it is very hard. We will fail from time to time. And when we do, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and get back on track. God’s grace affords us that opportunity. And as hard as it might be, the reward is greater than we can imagine. Here are a few things you can do every day:

  • Spend time in the Word – get still, pray, read, and listen for His guidance.
  • Worship God – praise Him, sing to Him, thank Him. Whatever it looks like to you – make sure you let Him know how much He means to you.
  • Look at your actions through what I like to call the Glory Filter; “Is this bringing God glory?” -if so do it. “Is this action/activity going against my Christian beliefs?” -if so stop it.
  • Love others – every single day you should be encouraging to at least one other person, and tomorrow out-do what you did today in this department.

If you can do these very simple, but not easy things everyday you will start to see God’s favor in your life – and you will start to feel him working through you. You will start to witness God doing great things through you- regardless of your qualifications. You are a chosen child of God – that qualifies you for everything He has planned for you.

Are You Available?

Most of us feel like there is something more. We feel like we are called to do greater things than we are currently doing. That we should be making more of an impact on this world. Is this you? Do you struggle with God’s plan for you? Do you just want to know what it is that He would have you do? Or do you know what it is, but have no idea how to move forward? Or do you know the what and how but you are unsettled by His timing because you feel like you are in a holding pattern?

If you are stalled or unsure, first understand that those feelings are natural and part of the process. Secondly, ask yourself – Am I really available? Are you willing to surrender your will and your expectations to His will and plan for your life? Are you willing to take that step in faith for Him and His calling on your life?

“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here I am . Send me!” – Isaiah 6:8

Do you have Isaiah’s availability and willingness to take that first step, completely trusting His plan and path?

If you are anything like me, you want to be. But you fight a battle of “what ifs” with every thought of availability. So, doubt creeps in and your confidence disappears. Instead of “Here I am. Send me!” Our response is more like, “Here I am, what do you have in mind and if that fits into my plan, I am in.” And this does not work. This is where you stall. But the fix is simple; dig in, spend more time in the Word, truly ask God for guidance, and then do the hardest part, listen. He will show you your next step. But, your obedience is up to you. Your availability is up to you.

A Clear Message

I start every day with prayer and quiet time, expecting God to speak to me and show me words, thoughts, and/or direction for that day.  Most days the message that He is trying to convey is pretty clear.  Some days, like today, He hits me in the face with a baseball bat.  Usually this is through repetition or just an overwhelming feeling that has no other explanation.  Today it was both.

I have explained this before but usually I rely on my daily devotional and daily Bible readings for inspiration for what I write that day.  Today is no different.  But I want to break this process down a little differently to show you how loudly He is speaking this message to me.  Today I had five different sources to read.  Below the message are the versus, in order, that were given to me. I am pretty sure you will see where I got the message.  

I am going to keep this short and sweet because He is literally telling me to keep my mouth shut.  But I don’t think this message is just for me.  I think God is telling me that in this time of extreme darkness, death, and destruction – He is with us and we need to guard our words.  I think God is saying that we need a little less talk and a lot more action.  Instructive and constructive words – instead of hopelessness and bitterness.  He wants us to grieve differently than the rest of the world.  He wants us to do so with hope.  Lean on Him for hope and use that to turn into action for revelation inspired change.

So today I want to challenge you to speak only encouraging and inspiring words.  Do something kind for someone that isn’t just like you.  And lean on God for comfort, strength, and direction.

“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” 1 Thessalonians 4:13

“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips” Psalms 141:3

“Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.” Proverbs 17:28

“The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent, and their lips promote instruction” Proverbs 16:23

 “Even though I walk through the darkest valley I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they will comfort me.” Psalms 23:4

Job 42

If you haven’t read the book of Job, I encourage you to read it. Especially given today’s social climate in the US. Seriously, read it… I will wait. But before you go – read all of it. Don’t stop before the end. As painful as Job’s situation is, keep reading. Because the last eight verses are the best part, but you cannot appreciate the wonderful ending without enduring the pain of the first forty-one chapters.

Job was a man that has really been through it. We read forty-one chapters of pleading with God, almost arguing with God about the trials Job faced. He lost everything and everyone. On the brink of death and full of suffering, Job’s friends try to convince him that he has sinned beyond repair and the God has forsaken him. Yet, Job’s faith does not waiver. He stays committed to worshiping God. It is really a painful and cringe worthy forty-one chapters of back and forth that leaves you hurting for Job and his struggles.

Then, in chapter forty-two, Job’s faith and repentance is rewarded with a latter part of life blessed far greater than the former part (before he lost everything). He was rewarded with twice as much, in fact. Job lived long enough to see four generations beyond his children, and died a wealthy man full of years. And given the pain and suffering that he endured, I guarantee Job died grateful for each blessing.

Every life has a calling. Every generation has a turning point. In a time that may seem like we are being pummeled with political unrest, a world wide pandemics, and social injustices – maybe these are the pain and suffering that we must endure. Maybe this is our rock bottom. Maybe this is what will cause us to fall to our knees. And maybe while we are there we will realize that this is the position that summons all of the strength we need. While we are in this position, we can pray to the only One who can bless this mess.

We will not always understand the path that God paves for us. We may never understand the obstacles and trials that we encounter along His path. We may question Him throughout our journey. But we can be assured that, if we stay faithful and connected, the destination with be worth every single step.

I believe we are in the midst of a revelation. And while I wish that nobody had to suffer for us to realize the solution, I am grateful for their sacrifice. Just like the book of Job – we have had to endure forty-one chapters of pain and suffering. But if we dig in and stay faithful though this trial – chapter forty-two will be the blessing that God has created for His children, and that will be better than we can ever imagine.

Start by Listening

Often, especially when there is an important conversation, we focus our attention on trying to find the right words to contribute to the conversation. We are drawn by the importance of saying the right thing at the right time. Maybe we think that we have to say these words to seem engaged in the conversation, to show we care or are involved. Maybe we think we have to say these words because it is critical that our voice be heard. Whatever the reason, often times we are more focused on formulating our thoughts than we are on listening to the thoughts and voice of others. In this format a conversation is rarely genuine or productive. People feeling like they are not being heard is a great source of frustration and anger. The first step toward compassion is understanding.

We should strive to listen more. Instead of formulating our next thought, lets focus on the thought being conveyed to us by the other people in the conversation. Instead of hunting for the right words, hang on their words. Instead of trying to prove a point, try to understand their perspective. People feeling like they are not being heard is a great source of frustration and anger. The first step toward compassion is understanding. If you really want to show you care, if you really want to have the conversation, if you really want to start the momentum of change – start by listening.

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19)

You are Called

You are called to do greater things.

I don’t know where you are in this world, or in your walk with God. But I know He has a plan for you and is currently exposing to you a step along that path. It may not be what you hoped for or envisioned for yourself. It may not feel like the timing is right or the situation is safe. But you have something between a slight inclination and a strong pull to do something that has been on your heart for sometime. I want to encourage you to investigate that urge. If you aren’t clear on what He is pulling you to, ask Him. Spend time in His Word, and be still – expecting an answer. But before you do any of this – praise Him – if for no other reason, but for the breath He provides for that praise (Psalms 150:6).

This answer may not be a huge surprise. You might just get confirmation that you are called by Him to do something you’ve known you were going to do all of your life. And if this is your situation, congratulations – that clarity is a gift, be grateful. But be warned, just because the clarity is there now, it may not always be. You will face great opposition and you will need to rely on His strength to persevere. It’s part of the design.

On the other hand, you may be struggling right out of the gate. Confused by His answer, by your calling. It may seemingly make no sense to you. It may be clear where you are being called but you have no idea how to get there. Or you may be pulled clearly toward your next step, but have no idea where it may lead. Often times, God will show us the mountain top or the path – but rarely will he expose both at the same time. Having experienced this myself, I can tell you that with every step in obedience, another step is revealed in His timing, but not before you step in obedience.

Whether you are gifted clarity or gifted mystery – your journey to and through your calling will not be easy. You will face opposition. You will face trials. You will face the opportunity to be Esau and give up a lifetime of promise for a chance at instant gratification, or to be Jacob and delay your gratification but fulfill your calling and have great impact for God’s Kingdom. Don’t give up a life time of substance for a quick meal (Hebrews 12:16). Stay connected to God and through that relationship your trials will become victories and another step down His path.

Your trials may not just be difficult obstacles, you will also encounter negative and discouraging people. Every dream has doubters. And there will be a lot of noise from those who aren’t understanding or in agreement with God’s calling on your life. Put them out of the room. Do not misconstrue my advice here. I am in no way saying that you should remove people from your life and stop caring for them. That is the opposite of what Jesus teaches. But what I am saying is, remove them from your circle of influence. We all have a handful of people in our lives that we rely on heavily for guidance and influence. If you do not know who these people are in your life, spend some time doing an inventory, they are there. They are the ones that if you were to disappoint them – it would crush you. If they congratulated you – you would feel on top of the world. These are your influencers. And if your influencers are not supportive, constructive, caring, and positive, put them out of room. Care about them, but do not allow them to have influence on your life’s calling. They are just noise that confuses the mission, and you must focus. Follow Jesus’ lead on this. He had no problem removing the noise to accomplish the mission (Mark 5:39-40).

The weight of a calling can be frightening. The feeling that it is so important that you have to be sure and do it perfectly can be paralyzing. And if this is where you are currently, or you get to this point in the future, you may not be ready. And that is okay. This is where you hit pause and regroup by praying, reading, and listening. Because all of the power that you need is inside you. He will not call you to something He will not walk you through. But you have to stay connected. So if you are feeling weak and alone, call on His strength before moving forward. His Spirit is there, always.

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7

If you have any questions or comments – please reach out to me through a comment below or on the contact page. I would love to hear your story and help where I can.

Thank you for reading!