Commit, Surrender, Walk

I finally have the pull to write publicly again. It has been a long time, over a year, since my last public post. I have missed it, but it was not mine to control. When I have words to write – I write them. When those words are meant for public consumption – I post them. It really is that simple and it really is that much of an exercise of surrender. I have tried to force it – and the words do not flow. They just disappear and I stare at a blank white page.

Today – this post is a bit different, though it started the way every writing before it has. I read my verses for the day, I pray (in writing – its just how I best communicate – even to God), and then I write whatever flows from my mind through my fingers. Today – the writing was the prayer and I am compelled to post it. I don’t know why or for whom – but I know the message will be clear for whomever it is intended – whenever they may read it.

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” Proverbs 16:3

God, I commit my work to you. I commit my marriage to you. I commit my calling to you. Establish my plans and I will follow your guidance.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to be good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

God, thank you for your preparation and attention. I am your child and specifically created for a purpose. Please reveal to me your purpose for my life. Please guide me on the path to fulfillment of that purpose. God, I surrender to you.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord not for human masters.” Colossians 3:23

God, I know my timing is not yours. I know that my need to know the plan is a lack of surrender, as unintentional as it may be. I know that you make no mistakes and that where you have me is where I need to be. Though I don’t see the divine purpose for my current position and location, God, I trust that Your plan is in action. And since I am your servant, I will pour my effort into this job as you have assigned. Please guide me and give me the wisdom to see the purpose in this position, the strength to see your mission through, and the peace to surrender my plans where they are not your plans. God, I will walk where you send me.

No Waste in the Wait

Where is God calling me?  I have gotten very clear and poignant messages on direction from God for a good part of my life.  I haven’t always listened.  But what is surprising to me is the lack of direction He is providing currently in my life.  I still get God Nod’s or Nudges and confirmations in various parts of my life.  But I am “stuck” currently with my direction.  Am I volunteering in the right place?  Am I in the right career?  How can I help build His Kingdom where I am?

The lack of direction IS the direction.  I am in the right place.  I have a job to do where I am.  Maybe I am here waiting for others to arrive.  Maybe I am here to grow.  Maybe I am here building something for His Kingdom that I do not quite see yet. My impatience is not important, His timeline is.  Just because I feel “stuck” in a rut, or feel like I am in a season of insignificance – I have to remember –  God makes no mistakes and He will not forsake or forget me.  If He isn’t telling me where to be, it’s  because I am where He wants me.

I have to stay obedient, connected, and content.  I have to look for the lessons to learn, the people to love, and the opportunities to serve.

There is no waste in the wait.  

Yes, I Will

This morning, in my quiet time, I started off feeling like a disappointment to God.  I am pretty consistently in the word.  And I listen to more sermons per week than I ever thought was humanly possible, via podcasts, church re-plays, and live in-person preaching.  A constant theme in most of these messages is how important it is for me to be a disciple of Jesus.  Which naturally, I equate to going out and saving souls, one at a time – but many is the goal.  For any of you that know me well – you can imagine how uncomfortable that makes me. 

Because one of my struggles in life is thinking that I am never good enough.  Naturally, I start to feel like a failure because I am not walking door to door teaching strangers about Jesus.  I don’t bombard the poor cashier at the grocery store with my personal revelations and try to insist he/she comes to my church and meets Jesus with me.  I don’t stand on the street corner and quote scripture at the top of my lungs.  I don’t make Jesus signs and stand on an overpass waving to people for hours every weekend.  So – how in the world can I possibly be a good disciple.  How can I be spreading the word of Jesus Christ and building God’s Kingdom?

“All you need to say is ‘Yes, I will’ or ‘No, I won’t’.  Anything beyond this is from the evil one.”  Matthew 5:37

That’s it?  That’s it.  Well that sounds easy but Yes to what?  I believe, scratch that – I KNOW that if you are actively participating in a relationship with God you will experience the Holy Spirit.  Now, I understand that if you have not recognized this experience yet – it sounds a little scary and images of being possessed by something swoop into your mind.  That has not been my experience.  For me, it happens with a very random thought that I often shove aside only for it to come back at a really weird and strangely appropriate time.  Or I will think about someone that I haven’t seen in a while only to run into them later that same day.  For me, I also experience strange affirmations where something very unlikely falls into place perfectly.  Or, and this happens most often, I am struggling with a question and then I finally pray to God and ask for His help – and then like this morning – three randomly chosen scripture versus will combine to answer my question perfectly.  This is my experience with the Holy Spirit.

Occasionally, those nudges or oddly random thoughts will take the shape of a request or a command.  Like seeing that stranger and being compelled to strike up a conversation.  So many times in my life I have shoved those opportunities away because it is painfully uncomfortable for me.  But lately, I have taken a deep breath and obeyed the nudge.  Not once have I been disappointed.  There is always an obvious reason I was supposed to have that conversation.  All I had to do is say, “Yes, I will”.  

But how is that significant to building God’s Kingdom?  Every single time I say “Yes”, God provides an opportunity to talk about Jesus in an authentic and organic way, lend a hand to someone in need, or make a connection that leads to a ‘next step’ in some way.  Even if I never get a chance to lead that person directly to Jesus, take them to church, or share my testimony with them – I am able to be an example of Christianity and love them in a way that leaves an impression. Every single time.  

And THIS is how I become His witness.

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit is on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”  Acts 1:8

So, while I admire the tenacity and passion of those who are called to be evangelistic disciple recruiters, the ones who save souls by the hundreds.  That is not my journey and it is not my calling.  I just have to learn to accept that. I have to learn to accept that my God makes no mistakes and I am His creation.  I have to accept that my God will never take me to something He can’t help me through.  I have to accept that His plan for me is unique to me – and I cannot live anyone else’s plan.  

So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.  Romans 14:12

And when I give my account to God – it will be a simple “I said yes”.

Side note — Why do you think we have to give an account to God?  He obviously knows everything we did, didn’t do, and thought about doing.  Is it like when your parents asked you about something you have done wrong – knowing you did it wrong – they were just giving you the opportunity to come clean?  That doesn’t seem to be on character for God.  Maybe it’s our final test. Maybe He wants to get our account to see if we “get it”.  If we show up and start listing all of our “accomplishments” and none of them are what He called us to do… do we go to Door #1 – Salvation Only?  But if my account is “I said yes” and I walked in the path He called me to, I like to believe I am going to be shown to Door #2 – God’s Favor.

Theologians – I am just having fun here, please do not send me theological corrections.

Politics Schmolitics

For those of you that know me personally, you know that I have no desire to debate politics with you, unless of course you are my oldest son. If you are my oldest son, I will debate politics with you – because we have very similar beliefs but my number one job as your father is to nurture you and prepare you for the world. If you can have a healthy and informed debate with me – you are ready for the world. But you are not him, I usually choose not to engage in those conversations. But today, God presented Romans 13:1 to me:

Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities for there is no authority except that which God has established.  The authorities that exist have been established by God.

Tomorrow is an important day in our country, and regardless of how you voted in the election – a new president, a new authority, will be sworn into office.  It is very easy for us, as flesh in this fallen world, to succumb to the judgmental and divisive nature of this world.  But as Christians, we know that we are to trust His plan and, most importantly love God and love others.  I have seen far too many Christians spewing hate and rhetoric over the past few months.  Some have even used the platform of their beliefs as a foundation of their hate. 

I want to offer a different approach: trust God.  You may never understand it, but His plan is great.  Debate if you’re into that – but try doing with respect, humility, and a heart of a teacher.  Try to learn the other side and teach without trying to demoralize the ‘opponent’. Pray for our Country.  Pray for our world.  Pray for each other.  And even if it makes you uncomfortable – pray for the authorities that God has put in place.  I’ll start:

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for your grace and patience with this troubled world.  Thank you for caring enough about your children to place authorities in front of us to lead us and keep us from completely imploding.  Thank you for President Trump’s service, especially during a time that nobody would have been able to navigate perfectly.  Please give him more peace, love, and humility.  Thank you for President Biden’s  commitment to a job that nobody should want, a job that can never be done correctly in the eyes of the world.  Please give him resolve, strength, love and a power to unite.  Please let him be a leader that brings you glory.  Thank you for a country that enjoys the freedoms that we do.  Please bring peace and unity to our country – do not remove debate, as it is often a healthy way to grow – but please remove the hate and re-teach your children that we do not have to always agree to be united.  We can disagree and live harmoniously.  Help us follow Jesus’ example.

In His name I pray. Amen

What do I do?

So many times, as men, we define ourselves by the career we are in or what we do for a living.  You can witness this by the very first question we ask each other upon introductions – “what do you do?”  And that’s IF we weren’t introduced by our name quickly followed by our profession.

For years, I have struggled with not being enough.  Not contributing enough.  Being in a career that doesn’t really mean anything.  And mostly because I have thought – “What good could my job POSSIBLY be doing to build God’s Kingdom”.   I recently earned a promotion and in my new role I am less hands on and more on the planning side of our organization.  The definition of “what I do” has literally changed over night.  At first I struggled with this minor identity crisis.  But as I prayed for answers and dug into the word it became very clear to me that none of that matters.  Sure it affords me to pay my bills, and feed my family.  So it is necessary – but it doesn’t matter WHAT I do.  Instead, its very clear to me – after years of searching – that what matters is HOW I do it.

One’s work ethic, dependability, and propensity to do what is right (even when nobody is watching) are demonstrations of his/her character.  Character is a testimony to one’s belief system.  As a believer in Christ, it is my goal to model my behavior after Jesus.  So HOW I do my job is the important part- not WHAT I do.  So – What do I do?  I represent Christ the best I can.  I am not perfect but I am progressing.  

Today – I am going to love God, love people and be the example that My Father expects me to be, even in meetings… even on conference calls… even when I have to deal with that difficult customer…. and even later when I have to do laundry.  I won’t love doing laundry – but I will love God and Others… Nothing in the Bible says I have to love doing laundry – right?

Never Enough

How many times have you said, “If I could just make more money” or “If I could just get that new [whatever]” – then – then I will be happy? I have said this my entire life. And it has driven me to accomplish quite a bit. I would even say it has consumed me for most of my life. But I am probably not alone in realizing that – getting that next best thing – or making that money… none of it is ever enough. There is always another goal right around the corner. I am beginning to realize that no matter how much I earn or obtain – it will never be enough. Earthly abundance will never be enough. Let me say it this way – earthly abundance will never be enough on its own. Without spiritual connection and growth, no amount of earthly hard work will ever produce a sustainable satisfaction or contentment. Even if your cup runneth over, without God it will soon feel empty. You can be rich by the world’s standards and will feel poor without a relationship with God.

And here is the even greater truth: Even the emptiest of cup feels full when God is in the center. A strong and real relationship with God will fill every gap. You can be poor by the world’s standards and feel rich with just a healthy relationship with God. Because you have His promise of a great inheritance.

2020 Vision

2020 Vision. Remember that? This time last year we were ramping up to have the best year of our lives. Churches and organizations were adopting 2020 as the year of vision- forward thinking- progressive vision. And then it happened, a series of events that changed our lives or at least the way we live them.

It’s been a year of quarantine, isolation, death and loss. It’s been a year of divisiveness, social injustice and unrest, and an election year to boot. It’s been a year of economic struggle, job loss, remote working and homeschool. Man, it’s been a year!

But what if our perspective is all wrong? What if our ideas that 2020 was going to be the year of clear vision weren’t forgotten? What if what we didn’t expect to happen is exactly what we needed to happen?

Here are some rarely thought about results of the chaos that was 2020:

– Conversations about social injustice that have needed to happen for decades are finally happening

– Business have had to rethink their methods and realizing that their footprint need not be so large

– Churches and other organizations have had to refocus their efforts and are now reaching more people- on a global scale- than they were prior

– Families are having dinner together again

– With many things closed and events canceled, campgrounds and state/national parks are seeing a surge in visitation and reservations

I am not trying to downplay the events and ramifications of a year that has been tragic for so many. And while 2020 feels far from a blessing, maybe we are focused on the wrong things? Maybe instead of the loss and missed events we should be grateful for the time with our families and slower pace of life. Maybe instead of being upset about missing the summer blockbusters, we should be happy that we finally finished that book we wanted to read. Maybe that job you lost allowed you to pursue the one He was calling you to? Maybe the isolation from the people you used to hang out with opened a door for the ones you were meant to meet? Maybe the pace you were running needed to slow down? Maybe your priorities needed reorganizing? Maybe instead of feeling isolated from our social circles we should be thankful for the opportunity to pull closer to God.

Maybe 2020 was a great opportunity for us to focus on who we really are, what is really important to us, and most importantly- Whose we are.

Maybe, just maybe, this was His 2020 Vision.

Peace Comes From Trust

So many times we expect that once we accepted Christ as our savior, life will get easy. We have this unrealistic expectation that walking with Christ will be an easy and smooth path. That our trials and tribulations died on the cross with Him. This is not the Promise. In fact – the Bible warns many times of quite the opposite.

Being a Christian is hard. It takes constant work and effort. And there has only ever been One that was perfect at living Christ-like. Having that expectation on ourselves is unrealistic and sometimes actually impairs our walk. God doesn’t expect perfection and God never promised the absence of difficulties, pain, or tragedy. What He does expect is a relationship founded in trust. What He does promise is that there is no reason to fear or be discouraged – because He is with us wherever we go (Joshua 1:9). He tells us not to worry about anything, but instead pray and petition God, giving thanks for His blessings (Philippians 4:6).

The popular phrase is “Let go and Let God”. And while the intention behind this is pure and on target, the desire to make a phrase worthy of t-shirts has omitted a very important part; the relationship with God is where we find true peace. Maybe the phrase should be, Dig in [to the Word], Let go [of worry], and Let God [fulfill His promise]. But that doesn’t fit on a bumper sticker.

During my devotional reading this morning, two out of the three that I read spoke of the story of Jesus and the disciples crossing the Sea of Galilee and encountering a big storm, you remember, the one Jesus napped through? When two of my devotionals – from different sources, purchased at different times from different places, hit on the same topic – its clear to me that God has a message for me in that text/verse. But when they reference the same exact story of the Bible – to me that is the equivalent of Jesus saying “Truly I say to you…”. Which should make everyone’s ears perk up like your college professor banging on a podium during a lecture (that part will be on the test!).

Today, a day after writing (again) about my anxiety, God gives me this story – twice. I was immediately hit with the thought of Jesus peacefully sleeping during the storm. And when the disciples woke him, I imagine that he was sort of indignant that they weren’t also peaceful in this situation. And it hit me… God gives us the opportunity to have peace in every situation. Our circumstances should not determine our level of peace. Jesus teaches us that peace is possible, no matter the storm. Often times, my level of peace reveals my level of trust in God. There is like a Trust / Peace continuum. Having peace does not mean that everything is going perfectly in our life. But trusting the One who is perfect and who is truly in control – can bring us great peace.

My peace is within my control, based on my willingness to trust my Creator.
It’s not easy – but it is that simple.

Anxiously Astray

Looking back over my life it is clear to me now that I have always struggled with anxiety. While most of the time this “thorn in my flesh” has been very mild and some times not detectable at all – there have been times where its crippling grip has shut me down for days at a time.

My anxiety takes on some strange forms. For example, I am always working on something – either a big project at work, a DIY home improvement project, a volunteer gig, learning a new hobby, or helping a friend. There is always a project happening. And while that might sound pretty normal – where I make it weird is – I put immense pressure on myself to complete the task. So much expectation that what started out as an enjoyable process just becomes dreaded and painful. I will lose sleep until its done. I will drop everything else in my life. And often – I will put my spiritual health on the back burner.

Like many of us, my life consists of spiritual peaks and valleys. What has become very obvious to me over the past 6 months is that my anxiety rides that very same wave. I have gone through some very big life changes in the past 3 months – by choice. We are trying to simplify and minimize in a pretty big way. We are trying to focus less on stuff and more on experiences. In preparing for this change and through the first part of the transition my intense focus kicked into overdrive. I could not think of anything else. I stopped having my daily quiet time, my time with God. And my anxiety thrived. I know that we all stray from time to time. The Bible even tells us we will (Isaiah 53:6 for example). It is going to happen. What makes me feel so bullish is that it takes me so long to realize that is what is happening. Usually, its my anxiety that takes over and slaps me in the face to wake me up. And there I lay, usually in bed with no more energy for the projects, or completely defeated by my failures, wondering “why me God?”. And His answer never changes – “why are you trying to do this without Me?”

Ultimately, its a choice, isn’t it? I could choose to take 15 minutes out of the time I have allotted for the project and continue my relationship and commitment to Him. But instead I choose to use every available moment to get stuff done. He gives us those choices. The key to our life is making the right one. (Deuteronomy 30:19–20)

I pray that we choose wisely. I pray that I slow down to speed up. I pray that I choose His presence over my pride. I pray that I choose his comfort over my anxiety. And I am confident that when I choose to trust Him I will lay down in peace (Psalm 4:8)

The Other Side

To me, one of the most confusing aspects of our world, especially our country, and even in our Church, is the divisive and combative nature of our interactions. It is almost as if we are not allowed to disagree, at least not without despising each other. Sure we all have our opinions. Yes, we all believe we are correct – or else we would change our opinions. But when did it become impossible to listen and discuss a difference of opinions? I am sure this was a problem before the construct of social media became so dominant in our lives, but that certainly hasn’t made it better. Instead of good fruitful and progressive discussion, we turn to hate and disparaging comments that have little to do with the topic at hand, and more to do with tearing “the other side” down.

This disgusting behavior is amplified during election time. Where campaigning becomes less about the issues that need to be solved and more about the flaws – true or not – of the political opponent. The membership of a political party becomes an alliance that cannot be broken. We follow a candidate blindly, seeing only their good and only the flaws of the other candidate. Again, true or not. Any view other than ours is discounted and ignored, instead of debated and developed. Bumper stickers, tee shirts, hats and even flags become a symbol of our distaste for you and your beliefs instead of support of what we believe. Hate for “the other side” is far more the climate than politics and progress.

However, this behavior is not limited to politics and political campaigns. It spreads to almost every topic from sports fandom to social issues. And lately, it is quite prevalent where these two topics collide. It has become common place for professional athletes to use their stage as a means to protest or express their distaste of social inequality and injustice in our country. This is a very polarizing subject for fans. Some view it as disrespectful to the flag and to the service men and women who protect us and our freedoms. Others view it as an effective use of those freedoms to try to correct a wrong, which is exactly what the service men and women fight to protect. Regardless of which side most people fall on, many are very angry at “the other side”.

I understand the urge to protect the honor and significance of our National Anthem, our flag, and our service men and women. The stories my father has told me about being spit on in uniform after returning from Vietnam make me more angry than I would like to admit.

I understand using your stage to bring attention to an issue that needs to be corrected. If someone you love was being mistreated, wouldn’t you use every tool in your bag to draw attention to it and stop it? For example, if it were Christians that were being mistreated in this country – would you still disagree with the protests?

I understand why there are differing opinions. But what confuses me is why one side needs to hate or fight with the other. Just because something is not your reality does not mean it is not real. Why must we draw such hard lines and ignore the opinions or views of “the other side”? Why can’t we have the discussion? Why can’t we try to learn about the opinions of “the other side”? Perhaps we are missing something being blinded by are anger, or our fear, or our bias? Perhaps somewhere, among the discussion, we can find a solution, one where we all win and grow. I don’t believe that is possible in an environment of negativity, hate, and disdain.

So, the next time a controversial topic comes up that gets your blood boiling – take a breath and subdue your anger.

Recite Proverbs 20:3:

“It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.”

And then try to have a discussion – try to learn about the differing opinion and with honor, in a way that would glorify God, try to explain your position and belief. Maybe opening that dialog will begin a movement of growth. Even if there is never an agreement or a resolution – there will be respect. And that is a huge step forward.