Marriage | Part 5 of 5
About this series
As my son prepares to get married, I’ve been thinking about what I would want a young man to know before beginning his own marriage. Some of these lessons come from Scripture, some from more than 26 years of marriage, and quite a few from getting things wrong along the way. This series is about the wedding, the covenant that follows, and learning to build a marriage that loves well, forgives often, chooses each other daily, and keeps Christ at the center.
Scripture: Matthew 7:24–25
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking about what I would want a young man to know as he begins marriage. We’ve talked about the wedding and the covenant behind those two words, “I do.” We’ve talked about loving sacrificially, learning how to fight for your wife instead of against her, and continuing to choose her long after the excitement of the wedding has passed.
But if I could give one final piece of advice, I think it would be this:
Don’t try to build your marriage by yourselves.
Jesus ends the Sermon on the Mount with a picture most of us probably learned as children:
“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.”
Matthew 7:24
The interesting thing about Jesus’ story is that both men built houses. And both houses faced storms.
The difference wasn’t whether trouble came. The difference was what they had built upon before it arrived.
That’s a pretty good picture of marriage.
There will be seasons when life is good and following God together feels almost effortless. There will also be storms. Some you’ll see coming. Others will arrive without warning. There will be decisions you don’t know how to make, disappointments you didn’t expect, and moments when neither of you has enough wisdom, patience, or strength for what is in front of you.
That’s when the foundation matters.
I wish I could say my wife and I have always put Christ exactly where He belongs. We haven’t. There have been plenty of times when I’ve relied on myself, gotten distracted by work, or tried to fix things with my own wisdom before asking God for His.
I’m learning that putting Christ at the center of a marriage isn’t something you decide once at the altar. Just like choosing your spouse, it’s a decision you keep making.
Pray together. Worship together. Go to church and don’t just attend it—be part of it. Serve together. Open God’s Word together. When you have a big decision to make, ask what honors God before asking what makes life easiest. When you’ve hurt each other, remember the grace Christ has shown both of you.
And when the storms come, run toward Him together.
I also think there’s something bigger happening than we realize when we build a marriage this way. Your marriage will affect people beyond the two of you. Maybe one day children will be watching. Perhaps grandchildren after them. Friends, neighbors, and people you haven’t even met yet may see something of Christ in the way you love, forgive, serve, and remain faithful to each other.
That’s the kind of legacy I want for my sons.
Not a perfect marriage. There isn’t one.
I want them to build marriages that point toward Jesus. Marriages where grace is more common than keeping score. Where forgiveness comes easier than pride. Where faith isn’t something practiced separately, but something that holds the two of them together.
Because eventually every marriage will face some rain.
Build the house now. And build it on the Rock.
Sit With This
What are you building your marriage on? Beyond simply saying Christ is at the center, what habits could you begin together that would make Him part of the ordinary rhythm of your home?
Prayer
Father, thank You for the gift of marriage and for everything You teach us through it. Help us build our homes on Christ. Teach us to seek You together in the ordinary days so that when the storms come, our foundation is already strong. May our marriages reflect Your grace, faithfulness, and love, and may what we build today point generations after us toward You. Amen.
