Marriage | Part 1 of 5
About this series
As my son prepares to get married, I’ve been thinking about what I would want a young man to know before beginning his own marriage. Some of these lessons come from Scripture, some from more than 26 years of marriage, and quite a few from getting things wrong along the way. This series is about the wedding, the covenant that follows, and learning to build a marriage that loves well, forgives often, chooses each other daily, and keeps Christ at the center.
Scripture: Matthew 19:4–6
In two weeks, my son gets married.
It’s strange even writing that. We’ve known this day was coming for a long time. We’ve talked about it, planned for it, and watched the date slowly work its way closer on the calendar. But now we’re measuring the time in days instead of months, and suddenly it feels very real.
In two weeks, my wife and I will watch the little boy we raised stand before God, his family, and his friends and become a husband.
That’s had me thinking a lot about marriage lately. There are plenty of things I want to tell him before he begins this next chapter of his life. Some I’ve learned through Scripture. Some I’ve learned through more than 26 years of marriage. And quite a few I’ve learned by getting them wrong first. Over the next few weeks, I want to share some of those lessons.
But before we talk about marriage, I think there’s something worth saying about the wedding itself.
Don’t miss it.
We spend months planning weddings, talking about them, paying for them, and worrying about a thousand little details. Then the day arrives and somehow disappears in a matter of hours. There will be people pulling you in different directions, pictures to take, hands to shake, and probably at least one thing that doesn’t go according to plan.
Let some of that go.
When she starts walking down the aisle, look at her. Really look at her. Look around at the people who came to celebrate with you. Hug your family. Laugh with your friends. Dance with your wife. Enjoy the food. Take the pictures. Don’t spend so much time worrying about what comes next that you miss what God has given you right now.
But in the middle of all that celebrating, remember that something much bigger is happening.
Jesus said:
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh… What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Matthew 19:5–6
I’ve read those verses plenty of times, but they hit a little differently when you’re preparing to watch your son live them.
A wedding isn’t simply a celebration of two people who love each other. It’s the beginning of a covenant. You’re standing before God and the people who matter most to you and making promises about a future you can’t possibly see yet.
That’s what strikes me about wedding vows. You don’t actually know what you’re promising to walk through together. You don’t know what life will look like five, ten, or thirty years from now. There will be incredible joys and there will be seasons harder than either of you expected.
And yet, you stand there anyway and say, “I do.”
Maybe that’s part of what makes the moment so beautiful. You’re not promising because you know exactly what the future holds. You’re promising that whatever the future holds, you’re going to face it together.
I understand the weight of that promise much more today than I did when my wife and I made it more than 26 years ago. Back then, I knew I loved her and wanted to spend my life with her. What I couldn’t have understood was just how much life would fit inside those vows.
I’ve learned that “I do” isn’t something you say once. In a lot of ways, you spend the rest of your marriage saying it.
So when the wedding day comes, enjoy it. Be present. Somewhere in the middle of all the noise and celebration, take a quiet second to look at your bride and thank God for her.
Eventually the guests will leave. The music will stop. The flowers will wilt. The pictures will become memories.
And the two of you will wake up married.
That’s when something even better begins.
Sit With This
A wedding asks you to make promises about a future you cannot see. Have you spent as much time preparing your heart for those promises as you’ve spent preparing for the day you’ll make them?
Prayer
Father, thank You for the gift of marriage. In the excitement of preparing for a wedding, help us remember the sacredness of the covenant being made. Teach us to keep You at the center of the promises we make and to trust You with all the years we cannot yet see. Amen.
