All of my adult life, I have been driven by an uncontrollable desire to improve. Improve my self, improve my situation, improve a process, improve efficiency, whatever the scenario – I would be looking for a better way. Of course, not every well intended step I took made the situation better. Sometimes it was quite the opposite. Sometimes, trying to improve has left me wishing for the situation I was originally trying to improve. But even then, another opportunity to improve. The core of the word ‘improve’ is prove and often that is the motivation behind the drive to improve. To make or get better in order to prove to someone that you are good or better. At least for me this has been true. My competitive nature and my over powering desire to please combine for a potent motivation cocktail. And much like most cocktails, too much can be very unhealthy.
Naturally, when I began my Christian walk, I brought this mindset with me. I want to be the best Christian I can be, I want to get better at it every single day. I can always pray more, read more Scripture, listen to God more, be more obedient, love more- I can always improve. Only now it feels different, like the motivation is not the same. I will admit, when I first began my walk in faith, I wanted to improve to earn salvation, or prove I was worthy of it. It took me a long time to accept the graceful and compassionate truth that our salvation is not something we can earn (or lose for that matter) by the deeds we do – the only requirement is our belief in Jesus (John 3:18). But for me, salvation is not the goal – it is just the beginning. The drive to become a better Christian was a fire that could not be extinguished and it still burns as strong today.
I start every day with time that I have set aside for prayer, worship, reading, and writing. I do this for several reasons, namely:
1- I believe that the most important thing in my life is my relationship with God. He gets my first fruits. The first moments of each day that He has granted me. So I pray, which is not just me talking to God but also being still and listening for Him. Focusing on the thoughts that He provides.
2- I have found that reading the Bible will provide an answer to every question I have, and usually right at the perfect time. It is literally the playbook for our lives. It equips us for ‘every good work’ (2 Timothy 3:16-17).
3- I rely on His guidance, every single day, to do the work that He has for me. And I request this guidance before I get started with my day. To ensure that I do not place my will above His.
My desire to improve has indeed taken on different motivation, but the drive is the same. And it is powerful. One of my biggest motivations for improving and growing spiritually is because I know God has called me to do greater things. I know that He has given me so many great and wonderful gifts in this life, for which I am forever grateful. And I know that because of those gifts, He also has great expectations for what I do with them. I know that for everything He has entrusted to me, even greater things will be asked (Luke 12:48). For this reason, I do my best not to overlook things, that may otherwise seem insignificant, in my life. I know that every person, place, or thing has an important role in His plan. And I am determined to learn, grow, and improve with every situation and scenario.
This is a big reason for my daily writing. I have recently been struggling with understanding what my contribution may be to God’s Kingdom. Sure, I am trying to live a Christ-like life as an example to all whom I encounter. I hope that my living testimony inspires more people than I ever understand, but naturally, that doesn’t feel like enough. What more can I do? And every time I ask myself that question it is followed by – how are you making more disciples? Because that is ultimately our Great Commission – right? We are supposed to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:19). So, if I am not building those relationships or spreading the Gospel – how can I be improving as a Christian? I don’t believe I am built to preach to thousands. I don’t even think I am intended to speak in front of tens. But I am often given words to write in a way to relate the expression of His Word to our lives. Sharing those words has been my struggle. So – this is where I need to improve today. I need to expand who I share these writings with and allow myself to be more vulnerable. Because out of the vulnerability – one day – God is going to use my words to touch an unbeliever somewhere in this world. And this is why I push for improvement. Not to prove anything to anyone. But to bring Him more glory today than I did yesterday. He makes room for my improvement. He makes the way.
Dadvotionals 