Like many people, I have been trying to find a way to make this world better than the way I found it. I have been trying to find my calling toward impact. I have been trying to figure out what my ministry is in this world. I feel like I have been given and continue to be given very practical ways of viewing the world through a Christian lens. I have a lot to say but I don’t like speaking in front of people, or really, speaking to people at all. Allowing my thoughts to flow through my fingertips, to be forever preserved for the eyes of future generations, provides a very peaceful and serene warmth to my soul.
“Write these things for the future so that people who are not yet born will praise the Lord” (Psalms 102:18)
I have many struggles with writing, and at times my negative thoughts paralyze me from crafting a single word even though the urge was overwhelming just moments prior.
“I am not good enough.”
“Why would anyone care what I have to say?”
“I don’t know enough about any single topic to write anything helpful about it.”
“I can’t spell.”
“I have a limited vocabulary.”
“I am a simple and basic person.”
“I am not even sure the proper grammatical composition of a sentence, paragraph or story.”
The enemy certainly thinks he has my number. But I know, none of this matters. Because God gives me the urge, the thoughts, and the passion for putting these words down. He is THE Creator. He thinks I am good enough and He wants me to write.
Plus, I do love to write. I love to receive a Word or inspiration and just expound on it until all of the fervent thoughts escape my mind and become a collection of ramblings in no specific pattern. Then, I love to retrace those thoughts word by word and form them into something that is consumable to other human eyes.
I have zero idea what this collection of ramblings may turn into. I am not even sure what I want to accomplish out of this exercise. I don’t aspire to be a famous writer. I don’t want accolades. I don’t expect to earn a living penning my random thoughts. I am not even sure I want to be vulnerable enough to let anyone read them. However, the thought that excites me the most is that my written words somehow become a ministry that helps people in life and ultimately get to know Jesus Christ.
Many of the words that the apostle Paul wrote were penned to believers to encourage them to continue spreading the Gospel. He tried to help them live Christ-like lives and use their example to be a light in the world. He did this in writing, mostly because that was the only medium he was afforded. Paul spent a good portion of his ministry captive in one way or another – usually in prison for his belief and faithfulness to Christ. Paul couldn’t preach from the pulpit. He couldn’t go door to door offering salvation. But he had to get the Word out. There was an unstoppable need to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ. He had no choice but to write.
I often feel a similar pull – like I just have to get the words out. Whether anyone ever reads them or not – I must rid myself of these thoughts or I may just explode.
Sometimes, I secretly hope that someone finds these thoughts, falls in love with them and publishes them to the world. But not knowing who created them. -they are just published anonymously and enjoyed unanimously.
The truth is, for me there is a euphoric high from writing. It is a therapeutic relief. It is a energy inducing rush. There are few sweeter moments than the completion of that last sentence of a writing. What surprises me, is the writing related reward of completing that thought is reinvigorated by someone else enjoying the words I have written. It is one of the most vulnerable things I can do – let someone read my true and unguarded thoughts. It is one thing to write, it is quite another to be read.
My entire lifetime I have been pulled to make a difference in this world. I feel a rush of excitement anytime I think about the possibility of my words reaching places that I may never go. There is no limit to the places my writings can travel and that is both exciting and frightening at the same time. My honest hope is that my words, one day and in some way, resonate with someone and help in a way I could have never imagined helping. That is exactly how God works, isn’t it? He gives you a gift that you may not appreciate, be aware of, or understand how to use, and He turns that gift into something He can use in ways that were not previously apparent to you or your understanding. I am confident that is God’s plan for me. And, right now, He is urging me to write.
Obediently, I follow.
Dadvotionals 